Contact Jenni

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And Now It’s Time for a Q & A

Where else can I find you online?

Like Visa, I’m everywhere you want to be. Okay, not really. But I am on Goodreads, Facebook, Twitter, Google+, LinkedIn, and Pinterest. Maybe someday I’ll be on Instagram, but that ship has probably sailed. Plus, I don’t have a smartphone. Instagram is kind of a jerk that way. “Hey, want to participate in our network? You need a phone that costs $50 a month.” I’m a broke-ass writer. I do not have $50 a month for a phone. If I do have $50, I need whiskey way more than I need pictures of myself with vintage filters.

Will you write back?

Yes! I love hearing from readers and I’ll definitely write back. Sometimes people write to tell me they liked a book, or they want to know how to get started in the writing biz. I may not be the best person to ask if your motivation is purely financial (see reference to not having $50 for a smartphone), but if you’re dedicated to the craft and want to be a better writer, I’m all about that. Let’s talk.

Can I come see you in person?

It’s probably best that you don’t. I live way out in the country, and to get to my house, you have to drive past my neighbor, who is usually drunk and has a lot of guns. Also, he doesn’t like it when people drive down the gravel road because the dust gets all over his house and cars and things. Drunk + grumpy + guns = bad things will happen. Also, some days I don’t wear makeup and it’s kind of scary.

Can I re-do your website?

No. I’m a control freak. You know those people who watch you put a fork in the dishwasher and then have to pick it up and put it somewhere else in the dishwasher because you put it in the wrong place? That’s me. My husband has pretty much given up attempting to put things in the dishwasher. Some days I wonder if I have made a terrible mistake with this.

Do you have a tiara?

I have two, neither of which contain real diamonds, platinum, or gold. Shit. I might be failing at this tiara thing. If you have information about tiaras, actual tiaras, or photos of tiaras, please get in touch. I’m all ears. And I have a 25” head circumference, so if your diadem would fit me, I’ll probably ask if I can try it on and take a picture.

Can I be in your next book?

Maybe. Are you okay with getting killed? I kill a lot of characters. I currently have openings for cops, foot soldiers, and henchmen. Hmm…do you know anything about forgery? Or missing royal treasures? I’m always on the lookout for those. You can’t write a Natalie Brandon thriller without a treasure of some sort. Well, you kind of can if it’s The Dante Deception and the treasure is a forged document, but that was supposed to be a novella, not an actual book. Sometimes these things get out of hand. Like, the Muse says, “Oh, you wanted a novella? You’re getting a ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND WORD BOOK, BITCH. What do you think about that?” And I have to say okay because that’s how writing works.

Stay in touch! Sign up for my mailing list.

I email my peeps a couple times a year, when I have new releases. I don’t spam you or pester you. But I think about you all the time, and kind of wonder if I should be doing more with the whole email marketing thing, but then I think about all the emails I get and I’m like, ugh, can’t they just go away? So mostly I just sit and ponder how to do email better.

Bonus! You do get two free Natalie Brandon thrillers, free short stories (downloadable PDFs that I made look real fancy), drink recipes, and a special welcome video that’s for subscribers only. So there’s that.

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